Food, Flavor and Freedom
When my oldest son, Eric, took his first bite of the Smashed Potatoes and Chorizo with Jammy Eggs that I had made for breakfast, his eyes lit up, and he declared it the best thing he had ever eaten. In that moment, joy swelled within me—not just because he loved the food, but because I LOVE living at this gorgeous place where I can have the best of both worlds. I now make food that not only tastes amazing but also makes me feel amazing.
It was a reminder of how far I’ve come on this journey; ten years ago I would have been serving my family cinnamon coffee cake or muffins loaded with sugar for breakfast (and I would have been super proud of all of that “love” served to them).
Moving towards real food has been a years’ long process, but wow, has it been worth it. Food no longer has control over me, but instead, I get to enjoy it in a way that brings both satisfaction and freedom.
This week I had another small win, which I will share with you. Please. It’s a baby, teeny tiny thing, but for me it felt glorious. What happened? Well, we celebrated St. Joseph’s Feast Day on Wednesday, March 19, 2025, which meant that we could literally FEAST. Instead of turning towards chocolate, peanut butter, sugar, I made myself a cinnamon apple protein pancake.
Oh my stars. I expected it to be sort of bland and rubbery, but the taste and texture were phenomenal. This recipe is from the New Client Week Two Recipes from The FASTer Way to Fat Loss:
1/3 cup oat flour (grind reg oats in a coffee grinder or food processor to make flour)
1 scoop vanilla protein powder (Faster Way has a great one from grass fed cows!)
1/3 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking powder
3 T unsweetened applesauce
1/4 c unsweetened almond milk
2 t. maple syrup
Combine dry ingredients and stir in the wet. Heat a skillet, add some drops of oil, spoon the batter into the pan in 1/3 cup portions or so. Cook four 4 min or so, flip. Enjoy! Serve with a tad of almond butter. Really freaking good.
Friends, I have come a LONG way!
I love love love making food that tastes exquisite. I LOVE it when my family moans and groans when they are eating something; they LOVED the smashed potatoes and chorizo from this weekend. And it had NO gluten, NO dairy, NO sugar! (Recipe found in Danielle Walker’s new cookbook, Make it Easy.)
OKAY. Now, I’d like to go into some deeper waters if you don’t mind. I’d like to create a place where we can enjoy things like GOOD FOOD, but where we can also go into the spiritual realm.
My good friend Amy recommended a wonderful book to me, Women, Food and God. The author, Geneen Roth, really showcases that how we eat is a microcosm of our understanding/relationship with God. At first I was a bit taken aback by how she connected that, but as I kept reading, she sold me.
Geneen would give retreats to women and during one of the retreats a woman by the name of Nell spoke up and shared that her mom was always threatened by her strength, her bigness, her determination. When I read that, I thought of my own life, and the messages that I have received from others. Think of your own life. What kind of messages did you receive? (I also think about my own children. What sort of messages am I sending to them?)
As Nell thought about her mom, she stated, “I needed to shut down the bigness—I needed to be broken as she was—otherwise she’d reject me and that was unacceptable” (9).
Nell realized during a meal at the retreat that she was not hungry but she was afraid to push the food away. Why? Because she knew that when she stood up for herself, then she would not be broken, and that her mom would be angry with her. Isn’t that interesting? Nell’s belief: if I am wounded and damaged, then I will be loved.
I sat with that for a bit. Food can become so much more than we need it to be.
Geneen’s advice within the book is similar to the advice that I give in Inside Out.
1.) Stop using food to numb, to comfort.
2.) Allow the feelings of brokenness. (The feelings are a pathway into the heart of what is truly important.)
3.) Realize that you are not broken. You are holy and whole. You are goodness and truth and beauty and light.
Many times we hide or try to fix our relationship with food, but somehow, that process, when we have the courage to look at it, takes us to the heart of Love Itself. Food is a doorway, a perfect doorway. “Understanding the relationship with food is a direct path to coming home after a lifetime of being exiled” (26).
Drop the mic.
Finally, I’ll close with a radical part of my own story (this might not seem radical to you, but was to me!).
About eight years ago I made an appointment with the priest we had at the time, and when we got seated I simply told him that I was done with diet plans. He looked at me kindly and was like, “Okay.” I could tell he wasn’t sure what I meant or why I was sharing.
“Father, for years I have used diets to try and fix me. I am done with diet culture and I wanted to come here to make this official proclamation.”
Friends, I knew I didn’t need a diet to save me. I didn’t need to go and find another quick fix. I was loved. Deeply. Unconditionally. As the beloved, I didn’t need to use food to comfort myself or fix myself. (Not to say that this doesn’t still happen upon occasion, but I know how to quickly get back to my understanding of wholeness.)
The reason this was such a radical thing: I had spent DECADES trying to find the exact right diet to use to make me feel whole. Turns out, it’s not about the food. It was never about the food.
Enter into the journey of your heart. Know you are loved. As you are.